I work in a fairly small two story building with a clean multi-stall bathroom that is shared with the other tenants. I often have the bathroom to myself and can’t complain about the instrumental easy listening music in the background. Unfortunately it’s all about timing and when my timing is off, there’s at least one, if not two other people with whom I share my bathroom time all day. It’s on those days that I can’t help but notice some of the different types of bathroom users.
Note:
1. The Horse Peer (There’s nothing wrong with this, it’s healthy. I’m just impressed, I guess.)
2. The Let Looser (Nothing wrong with this either. I’m impressed by your tenacity but it’s distracting.)
3. The Heavy breather (You are a very audible breather. I can hear how focused you are on what you’re doing and I think you should get your sinuses checked out, I’m concerned.)
I usually kinda sit and hang out to avoid washing my hands at the same time as the people who fall into these categories because it takes effort not to think “horse peer, horse peer, you pee like a horse, did you just empty a jug of water in there?” the whole time. Plus I want to give them their anonymity. Granted not everyone is as self-conscious as I am, clearly, but the sounds and smells don’t need a face. I know someone did it but I don’t need to know who because when I pass them in the hall or parking lot, that will be the only point of reference I have for these people that I know nothing about but see almost everyday. I also don’t need to know about their pooing habits, health or lack thereof–though I’m sure everyone knows about mine because I’m usually in the first stall where shoes are visible upon entering the bathroom and I’m probably the only person in the building who wears Vans to work.
